


The Call

by TeamAroPickle



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Love/Hate, Redemption arc?, Reylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-09 22:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5557160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamAroPickle/pseuds/TeamAroPickle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story explores the depths of the Force-bond Rey and Kylo Ren share. Their encounter not taking an expected turn, Ren and Rey end up stranded on an uncharted planet, isolated, and stranded. Dependent on the other, the two acknowledge how closely tied they are, and work together, forging a strong connection in order to make it out alive. Reylo (RedemptionArc)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Hunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys. I have never done a Star Wars fic, but I have been a fan for a long time now. Jumping aboard the steaming trash pile that is the Reylo fandom, I have written this fic. Honestly, I am so into this pairing I cannot stand it. There is such intense chemistry, and, regardless of what some people are thinking, I do not believe that Kylo and Ren are in anyway related. If I am wrong, well, I have until 2017 to keep my Reylo fantasies on the web. Here it goes.
> 
> THIS CHAPTER HAS SINCE BEEN EDITED/REWRITTEN

Turning from BB-8 as he rolled through the underbrush, Rey began to run. She could hear the whirling of the First Order’s tie-fighters through the canopy of leaves laced over her head. The sound served as a powerful incentive to push her legs faster. Breath labored, lungs aching, and heart racing, the forest around her rushed by in a blur. When Rey had first arrived on Takodana, she could not stop staring in awe at all the green, but now she could not afford to spare the alien beauty a second glance.

The trees thinned ahead out of her and she could see a hint of the stones that made up Maz’s castle shining in the distance. Coming to a stop on a mound of dirt, not far from beyond the boundaries of the woods, Rey paused to take in the scene before her. Stormtroopers were jogging on the lawn, and explosions were firing off large chunks of the cantina. Just as the welcoming statue of Maz’s outstretched figure toppled, she caught sight of a stormtrooper not ten yards away.

Panicking, she reached for Han’s handblaster, fumbling with the contraption stupidly. She raised the weapon and pulled the trigger. Nothing. Realizing her error, she mumbled a curse, and flipped the safety off. At this point, the stormtrooper noticed her, firing off a shot. In a stroke of pure dumb luck, Rey’s reflexes were on her side, and she dodged away from the hot red blast. She took aim once more and, after two attempts, took down the trooper.

Han was right - she did have a lot to learn.

But now was not the time to dwell on missed lessons. Now was the time to get back to the Falcon - and fast.

Growling at having to retrace her steps, Rey broke into a run in the direction that she had just come. She tried not to think of how Han was doing, seeing as, last she had known, he had still been at Maz’s. However, she reassured herself, this _was_ Han Solo. The same Han Solo who had helped defeat the Empire and had piloted the Millennium Falcon to complete the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs. Or was it twelve? In any case, Rey was sure that Han could take care of himself, just as she could take care of _herself_.

As far as Finn went, those worries took a lot more strength to silence. All Rey could now was hope that he had already departed with his tickets to the Outer Rim. Her friend had seemed so haunted, so desperate to run; while she did not want to lose him, another person she cared about leaving her, she couldn’t hold it against him.

Lost in her thoughts, Rey had not been paying much attention to where she was headed. She stopped for a moment by some large rock formations to catch a few needed breaths and reassess which direction was the correct one. Living on Jakku for all her life, a place where it was sand, sand, and more sand, her navigation skills were exceptional. If she could get where she needed to go in a desert, where everything looked exactly the same, she could handle this place.

It took a moment, but she eventually got a handle on her approximate position; she was delighted to discover that she was not all that far from where they had left Chewbacca with the ship. She had only managed to advance an inch when a bizarre tug pulled at her chest, pulling her back. Astounded, she fell back a step and analyzed the air. It was only then that she noticed a strange aura around her - a low hum - one that was steadily growing stronger with every passing second. The way it made her feel was not necessarily unpleasant, but it was disconcerting. How had she not noticed this until now?

Instantly, as that annoyed thought rolled through, a low, hot, crackle sounded off nearby. Rey halted, not daring to breathe through already taxed lungs, and took in the murmurs of the forest. Only a second later, she heard a similar buzz fizzle somewhere to her left. It was a sound that Rey had never heard before, but she could feel intuitively that whatever the source, it was not something that she would like. It was too menacing. Too powerful.

The crunch of leaves very near her position forced her into action. She bounded forward, trying desperately to get something against her back, most vulnerable to attack. Planting her back against one of the dirt covered rocks, she whipped her head around, and raised her  blaster in preparation for whatever was coming. In anticipation, she imagined firing off a few well-placed shots in a stormtrooper’s chest. Every passing fantasy of her approaching victory, Rey gained some confidence. She readied herself to make her move.

However, what ended up approaching Rey caught her off guard entirely – it terrified her. A stormtrooper would have been a challenge, but a challenge she could have had at least some chance of conquering. But this - this tall, black, figure who moved at her with surety and menace - was an opponent obviously much more than your mass produced stormtrooper; this was no mere pawn of the First Order. This one was different. The creature wore a slightly metallic mask, long black robes, and, worst of all, carried in one hand, a blazing red lightsaber. Rey knew instantly, looking at the sizzling weapon, that she was faced with the decision to either fight or flee. Ultimately, she chose something in the middle.

Shoving off from the rock, she stumbled forward and away from the masked figure, while at the same time turning back to deliver a few poorly aimed blasts. The large man avoided the ones that managed to land anywhere near him and continued to pursue her without so much as slowing down his measured stride. Noting her lack progress, Rey gave up her hopes of potentially winning, and decided to focus her efforts on evasion.

She whirled forward and climbed up over a nearby rock, hoping to dash into the trees, when suddenly the hum of the lightsaber met her ears. Calculating just how close the sound must have been, Rey turned and was shocked to see that the creature had already caught up with her. In a desperate attempt at self-defense, now that it was obvious that she could not even run away, she raised her blaster and shot directly at the approaching form.

With effortless skill, the figure calmly deflected each blast with a twirl of its weapon. The creature, following through with a fluid motion, reached out a spread hand to Rey - an immediate vice grip took hold of her entire body. More alarmed then she had ever been before, her breathing picked up, increasing from its already rapid pace.

She was helpless as the towering figure stalked towards her, staring straight through her with the expressionless face of a cold mask. At the close distance, she could see the scratches and gouges that peppered the mask. The rest of the creature was pristine, however, and the coarse knit fabric of its scarf and hood acted as just one of the many variations in the uniform. Rey hardly had a full second to ponder these trivial details when a low, rumbling timber issued forth from the mask.

“ _You_ ,” the creature whispered out, so gentle Rey almost missed it. 

The figure had halted his approach immediately when he had come close enough to see Rey’s face; she was grateful for the pause in his stalking.

What felt like an eternity as Rey stood, twitching slightly form the strain, before the now transfixed figure. Finally, it spoke, it’s voice strengthened and firm now, “So, you’re the girl I’ve heard so much about.”

The thing, which Rey guessed at being a man, continued to step around her, and it was then that she noticed the strange aura had flared up again. It intensified into a frenzy of energy when his cloaked form passed by her frozen body, coming to stand at her back.

“Where is the droid?” he asked, his voice a just a filtered grumble.

Finding that she was able to move her mouth, despite not being able to move much of anything else, Rey found the strength to speak, “I don’t know about any droid.”

_Very convincing Rey,_ she thought dryly.

Apparently, the masked man saw through her as well – he was not convinced either.

“Don’t you?” she heard him say just as a glaring beam of red stopped to hover beside her face. The heat radiating from the saber was unbelievable, and she could not help it when her eyes widened, her heart feeling as through it had to escape. Rey was all too aware that just the slight move of this creature’s hand, and her head would come clean off.

But, loyalty winning out over cowardice, she managed a response. “I won’t tell you,” she bit out.

Surprisingly, her weak attempt at bravery was followed by the removal of the saber’s heat from her cheek. She sighed out in relief silently, immediately refocusing her efforts on staying calm and collected in front of this new enemy. He circled around once more, coming to a stop in front of her. Rey had to strain her eyes up, as her neck was immobile, to meet the shielded ones of the man. He raised his hand, outstretched once more, and kept it level with her head.

At once, she felt a pressure against her skull. It was not particularly painful, but it was frightening nonetheless. The sensation quickly morphed into a focused push against the center of her forehead, and she began to struggle against the feeling. Something was wrong. The pull in her chest was strengthening in its intensity, just as the prodding in her head was becoming more acute. Somehow, she knew then what the creature was doing. He was trying to see inside her mind – it was a Force users trick. Panicked, Rey tried uselessly to block him out. She wasn’t sure how or where to begin but, being desperate, she grasped at whatever mental control she could muster. But it was too late.

“ _You._ You’ve seen it. The map _._ ” The creature said it with such disbelief that, for a moment, Rey felt indignant at his insinuation she wasn’t important enough to know such information.

Straining to the point of tears, she tried to prepare herself for the onslaught of the next invasion, but found she no longer felt the unique pulse radiating from the creature. While his gloved hand was still outstretched, he was no longer using his power against her. Instead, he did something even more distressing. Rey watched as his hand hesitantly inched towards her cheek. The masked head tilted slightly as the tips of his gloved fingers brushed her temple.

In a flash, as though burned, the dark figure pulled his arm back and turned away from her. Rey, still tensely adhered in place, shifted her eyes to see what had attracted the thing’s attention. A stormtrooper had quietly approached, a commander by the looks of the pauldron on its right shoulder, and stopped respectfully in front of the creature. Rey could tell from the trooper’s deferential posture the masked man in black was a superior.

“Sir. We could not find the droid. But, the Resistance has taken out most of our tie-fighters and we are now outnumbered. We need more troops.”

Turning his back on the trooper to face Rey once more, the masked figure answered, “Forget about the droid. We have what we need.”

Before she could register his swift motions, the man took a step towards her, hand raised to her temple. Then, for Rey, her world instantly went black; one quick pulse, and her whole body was limp. The last sensation she felt was the firm, but gentle, grasp of hands around her shoulders and underneath her knees as the man easily swept her up and into his arms, cradling her against his chest.

From within her consciousness, Rey was vaguely aware of the thrumming aura, now humming with excitement around her. As pleasant as the sound of it was to her ears, the sensation brought a dry ache to her sternum. Despite the bizarre new feeling, Rey felt at ease; a soft peace drifted in her as she was lulled by the hum. But the peace, she knew, would end as abruptly as it had come once she awoke again. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, I know. This was kind of a test. Obviously, most of this is completely out of the movie so it might have been a bit boring. The next chapter will have the actual interrogation scene (but expanded and altered a bit so that there is a lot more material). Let me know if you liked it. Really, I am more interested (panicked), to see if I get the characterization right. I NEVER want to make any character OOC. Happy Holidays, guys.


	2. Familiar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REWRITTEN/EDITED

Despite the peace given to Rey in the dark of sleep, she could not help but panic at a new revelation: in this forced sleep, she would likely have _the_ dreams again. 

On Jakku, during the night when she froze in the desert, Rey would struggle to find rest. More than often than that, she would sometimes fight _against_ sleep, afraid of what strange images a new night would bring her. Sometimes, the desert landscape of Jakku would stretch out before her, heat waving off the miles of endless sand dunes. She would find herself trudging along - never going anywhere, never reaching any destination. Other times, she would dream of an ocean with a few green islands dotted across the blue. But, on occasion, Rey would have her most peculiar dream of all.

It was a simple, unique, and entirely confusing dream where Rey would see a solitary person amidst pure blackness. When she was much younger, the person appeared to be a boy only a few years older than Rey. But, over time, the boy had steadily grown into a man; one who was a good foot taller than Rey, with broad shoulders, large hands, and a thin face framed by a halo of wavy black hair. His form was not concretely defined, his edges slightly bleeding into the surrounding void. However, as intangible and undefined as he was, the man became a powerful anchor for Rey, and easily the most reliable thing in her unpredictable world.

The dream itself never changed - the man himself never really changing either, just a bruise or scrape appearing from time to time. The atmosphere was entirely black, like an endless vacuum silencing everything around. Only a faint glow, which issued out around them, was their sources of light; the sounds of their breathing, the sole remedy for the silence. Before his image would fade, and Rey would wake, they’d stand facing one another. Neither him nor Rey would move, except the moments when one would tilt their head or switch their gaze to a different feature of the other. By now, Rey knew the man’s face almost as well as her own. But, the his best feature by far, she thought, was his eyes - brown and boyishly curious.

Rey was notably shorter than he was, but she was never intimidated by the difference in stature. There was no need to be anxious in these dreams. On the contrary, she had always felt content when the man had come. She had a feeling that her “ghost”, as she had come to call him, experienced that same peace as well. When they would stare back at each other, the look in the man’s eyes was a peculiar mix of reverence and respect. Being an orphaned scavenger on Jakku, Rey didn’t consider herself anything of great interest – just a girl surviving - but, in these dreams, she was made to feel as though she were some sort of secret treasure. As if she was a good thing the man was glad to have; a bright spot he could hold on to in his head - locked away for safe keeping.

At the prospect of having that peaceful dream, Rey’s panic ebbed. She looked forward to enjoying that particular dream - one so much better than the hopeless desert or the confusing mystery island. However, her mind took advantage of the time to drift back to the horrifying onslaught of visions that she had suffered back at Maz’s watering hole.

In those moments, Rey had had the wind knocked out of her as a corridor of lights crumbled onto a scene of a hooded man with a droid. Next, a dark soldier rushed at her, weapon raised to strike, when a red-hot beam ripped through his chest – the blow killed him instantly. She had looked up to see who had dealt the blow, but was met with the imposing sight of the creature who would end up chasing her through the woods not an hour later. She barely had time to take in his rain drenched self before he hastily marched towards her. But, eventually that haunting vision bled away, taking Rey to a long buried terror, and she soon found herself wishing to confront the creature again instead. It was an old memory: her younger self on Jakku as a ship blasted off, out into the atmosphere, leaving her - _abandoning_ her. It was her parents.

At the fresh rush of anguish, Rey jolted, and her eyes snapped open; she found herself in unfamiliar surroundings. The room was fairly small, with cold, hard-edged details on the wall panels; it was architecture so unlike the worn stone carvings of Maz’s, but eerily similar to something Rey had seen before. She continued her inspection, looking down at herself, and bit back a startled cry. She was imprisoned within a kind of holding chair, equipped with restraints and probing tech. Each one of her limbs was encased in shackles, but, mercifully, the head strap had been left off. Near her ear, the attached life support system beeped menacingly. Trying to remain somewhat calm, she glanced around the room again – seeing no exits - and noticed something out of place hovering by the floor. She craned her neck to look, and was met with the emotionless face of a mask.

It was the creature. He was crouching on the floor in front of her, and had been keeping a silent watch while she had come to.

Rey breathed deeply, putting on an untroubled face, and took in her situation: she was now a prisoner of the First Order. In a brief flash, she mentally filed through all the different ways she knew could be tortured here. Before any of the pain began, she made sure to solidify her priorities: She could not give anything away, she could not be a coward - she _would_ not.

If only out of spite, Rey spoke first, feeling some sham of control.

“Where am I?” the panic leaking through into her voice more than what she was comfortable with.

The creature tilted his head. “You’re her guest,” he rumbled out.

Rey felt her brow furrow, _Guest_? _Is this_ thing _trying to be funny?_

But, just then, the faces of Finn, Han, and Chewbacca came to her. There was nothing funny about this. This thing was a murderer, or at least worked for murderers. She couldn’t and wouldn’t negotiate with him, with these people - she just needed to wait them all out.

“Where are the others?”, she asked.

“You mean the murderers, traitors, and thieves you call friends?”, he asked accusatorially. “You’ll be relieved to hear I have no idea.”

She truly was relieved. At least they were all safe but, it was up to her to preserve that safety. For the moment, her friends were alive, and it was one less thing to distract her mind.

Now it was just her. And _it._

“You still want to kill me,” the creature said, feeling her hatred.

Her gaze snapped back to him, bemused at his statement. She thought her contempt for him had been obvious. At least she had a good reason to hate him.

“That happens when you’re being hunted by a creature in a mask.”

He considered her for a moment from his place on the floor, but, with a flicker of hesitation, he raised two large hands up to the underside of the helmet. As the air in the mouthpiece hissed out, Rey almost wanted to yell out a plea to keep the metal shroud on. The tales she had heard of Darth Vader, a commander not so unlike this one, had spoken of his masked face as a horror – a burned, scarred horror. She didn’t know if, upon seeing this thing’s profile, she would feel instinctive repulsion or pity. For the sake of her resolve, pity would be worse.

Swiftly, too fast for Rey to act, the creature had slid off his disguise, revealing an unexpected form of horror.

The man, whose strange presence in Rey’s sleep had always brought her a sense of peace, stared back at her – now as merely the face of the _creature._

Horrified, she drank in the sight of him, in a state of conflicted awe that she could see was mirrored by him as well. Her initial resolve crumbling, Rey’s eyes brimmed with tears she refused to shed. The man wasn’t much better collected, his eyes were reddened and shined with frustration, his brow pulling together.

Rey didn’t know exactly how to feel; confused, certainly, but betrayed also. The ghost whom she had counted on, whom she had held onto as a secret, and as a source of comfort had turned out to be an enemy she wanted and _needed_ to destroy. He had killed people, wanted to kill more, and was currently working as a pawn of a vile war machine.

All was still in the holding cell as some minutes passed, neither one of them so much as taking a breath. Rey, amidst a swirl of emotions, soon felt more miserable than anything – she wanted to say something, wanted _him_ to say something, wanted anything to happen for this bizarre nightmare to shatter. Betrayal warred with despondence as she struggled to get her words passed a hard, dry lump in her throat.

“I know that face,” she whispered out, agonized.

From where the man stood, he jolted as if burned, looking nonplussed. Though the muscles in his jaw moved on their own accord, frustrated and agitated, the man suddenly looked very much like the boy Rey had met in her very first odd dream. He looked scared and confused - lost.

Rey watched as he shook, his Adam’s apple moving in a painful swallow, before he finally whispered, “So, you’ve had them too.”

She felt as if he had just slapped her. The dreams – he _knew_. He shared the dreams, if that was even what they were, with her, and he was trying to grasp for answers with as much desperation as she was. The tears she had refused to shed gave way traitorously, and she could only nod.

She heard him step closer, his side glancing the side of the chair. She badly wanted to keep her eyes directed at the wall panel in front of her, but the temptation to let her gaze slide up to his was too great.

Brown and searching, his eyes prompted a flood of memories of the countless times she had investigated those eyes, unhurriedly, in the calm of a dreamscape. His eyes were not so different now, yet instead of peace, the brown depths looked tortured.

His form was absolutely concrete as he stood over her – his edges ending in defined black lines. It was difficult for Rey to believe he was really here, but so real was his presence and his tension, she was certain this could be no dream. Everything felt faster somehow, more vivid, louder. Being next to him brought the curious aura of frenzied energy back to life again, and it made her feel taunt and stretched; like a rubber band pulled too far. The sensation mounted impossibly higher each passing second, and she thought she might just break in two when a gloved hand came to cradle the side of her face.

“You’re not -,” the man began shakily, eyes glazed over. He spoke to himself, as if she were not in the room. “I had to be sure. You seem so much more real now…”

Rey didn’t have the chance to react under his touch, for his hand left her as soon as it had come. Once he retracted his hand, a mask of his own making came forth – one made of flesh and blood, not cold metal. Cool, stoic, and organic was his new disguise.

“It doesn’t matter,” he whispered. He took a deep breath, eyes directed above him as if asking some entity for guidance, before squaring his shoulders. He leveled a determined look down upon her once more, “Tell me about the droid.”

Unexpectedly, rage bubbled inside her. _It ‘didn’t matter’? How could_ this _not_ matter _?_ She wanted to scream, but decided instead on a different approach, one that satisfied her need to agitate him just fine. Quieting her vexation, she settled into her own mask, one that was coldly defiant and determined, and played dumb.

“He’s a BB unit with a selenium drive and a thermal hyper indicator -“, she started, but was cut off.

“He’s carrying a section of a navigational chart. We have the rest. Recovered from the archives of the Empire, but we need the last piece, and somehow you convinced the droid to show it to you. _You_. A scavenger.”

Although, Rey suspected, he had tried to deliver the sentence with condescension and derision, she thought he sounded more bewildered than anything. Apparently, she was not what he was expecting; Rey considered the feeling to be mutual.

Her mask hardened, she raised her chin to show that she would not be swayed.

“You know I can take whatever I want,” he whispered to her before leaning in, his warm breath washing over the flesh of her cheek and neck. Once more, just as he had in the forest, he stretched his hand forward, leaving it to over Rey’s face.

Again, Rey felt a strange pressure against her skull - like fingers massaging into her scalp, attempting to break through. Like she had tried once before, she scrambled to master her resistance - to fight back; but, apparently, she was not any better at blocking him than she had been earlier. It took only a moment before familiar flashes of the island and the endless surrounding blue played out in her mind’s eye. She could only watch helplessly as the man consumed it all.

“You are so lonely - so afraid to leave. At night, desperate to sleep…you imagine an ocean,” he murmured, adjusting his position to get impossibly closer, “I see it…I see the island.”

Tears were now streaming in rivers down Rey’s cheeks; she was helpless as his probing continued, easily uncovering her recollections of their shared dreams. She heard his breath catch as he concentrated hard on the memories, all the while the weight of his unfocused eyes continued to bore into her cheek.

Inside her mind, she could see a typical dream scene: the two of them standing amidst the black. The sight had always been welcoming, but it caused her agony now; she never wanted to see these moments again. The betrayal a fresh wound, what once offered her peace now left a bitter taste in her mouth.

“Get out of my head,” she ground out through clenched teeth.

With a small relieved breath, the man complied and moved from her. Stepping away purposeful and slow, his broad back to her, he shook his head to clear his mind; it sent his black waves trembling. After his stony exterior was securely back in place, he turned to her with an outstretched hand directed over her face.

“I know you’ve seen the map - it’s in there… And now you’ll to give it to me.”

Pressure rapidly built inside her head, greater now than ever, and she cried out against his attempts to penetrate her thoughts. Fear coursed through her at the prospect of having to see those scenes of them together again; it scared her almost as much as the prospect of him finding the map did. Rigid, twitching under the strain, she could not help look into his brown eyes once more. Even now, she could not believe that she had been deceived like this, tricked into thinking she had finally found someone who would be there for her, even if he was only in her head. But, now, each second with him was a blow to the stomach. But, despite her hatred for him, the aura rejoiced, flourishing into an uproar.

_Was this what Maz had told her about? The Force?_

The man sensed the direction of her thoughts, and reassured Rey gently, “Don’t be afraid. I feel it too.”


	3. Identity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAHAHAH I actually (no joke) spit my coffee onto my cat who was sitting on my desk when I read the comment from averypottermormon. And then I promptly started to sniffle and sob. Thank you so much. I am very happy that you like it. I am, however, sorry to tell you that this chapter is not very long nor is it very "romantically" (if you want to call it that) tense. A lot of college apps and personal issues have made sure I did not get very much fun writing in. Next chapter should be pretty interesting though so ---- heads up ;)

“I’m not telling you…anything.” I bit out, tendons strained tight against his power.

A deceivingly gentle look graced his face, “We’ll see.”

I attempted to put up a barrier again, this time determined to be successful.

_Enough playing around, Rey. They will lose everything if he sees._

So I pushed until I saw stars. I felt the strange probing fingers against my scalp once more and rallied my defenses. I picked certain strong thoughts to focus on just incase he broke through, but managed to utilize my anger at his betrayal and my hatred in a way that built up a wall. This wall proved to be enough. 

His brows knit together, jaw tight, as it dawned on him that his attempts were not as immediately successful as they had been the last time. After each new approach, he would tense again and stretch out his arm further, throwing another wave against me, trying to breach my dam.

When I saw my face, as if looking in a mirror, I was so surprised, I almost lost my control and let him in. It took me but a half a thought to realize that I had done more than just kept him out. I had broken into him.

In his head, which was not as sinister and disgusting as I would have expected, an image of my wild face shone. Acting quickly, I moved on, in the hopes of finding anything of value, but was forced into a cloud of thoughts that pertained to the girl who sat restrained in front of him.

They were just memories of our joint dreams, from his perspective. First, a very small girl’s face peaked out curiously, next, a shy, awkward teenager bit her lip, and then, finally, an exact replica of my present self pleasantly half-smiled back. It was bizarre to see how detailed the thoughts were, as if they had been reflected and meditated upon often.

However, as strangely fascinating as these visions were, I could not imagine that they were the most interesting things lurking in his brain. Ghosting forward, I somehow navigated to a new area of clustered thoughts. It was a breathtaking sight to behold – a grouping of interlocking memories; some were dim, some bright, others flickered like flames. I picked a few at random, just out of intuition, and read them. Layer after layer, more details were unfolding. There was a lot more to this man then he let on.

This, of course, was done on purpose.

I could feel my hold on him failing, and I did not want it to affect the security of my mind so I backed off. Slipping from his consciousness like coming out of a warm blanket. Cold air blasted at my physical body and I knew that I had fully let him go.

All of this had only taken seconds to transpire, despite my mind processing it to seem like much longer, and he was still standing before me, hand outstretched, just as confused as before.

I gasped for air when I felt him successfully penetrate in one area, and realized then that I had to use the weapon I had just obtained to put a stop to this - at least for the time being.

“Trying so desperately to be just as strong as _Darth Vader_ , is a mistake…” I said as calmly as I could, waiting just the perfect amount of time to deliver the final blow. “ _Ben_.”

He reacted as if I had burned him, and perhaps I _had_ in a sense. His arm whipped from me and I slumped back with relief. The sounds of our labored breathing mingled in the air while we stared each other down. As scared as I was at what I had just done, I was still intensely proud and a bit arrogant, and so I looked at him evenly. He, on the other hand, appeared so alarmed I almost thought he was ill. 

Hair tousled, face sheet white, he hurriedly donned his mask and swept out of the room. He did it in such a panicked rush, I barely had time to process the sight of his long black garb curling out and around the doorway.

Over his thumping footsteps, I faintly heard a terse order for a trooper to man my cell door and watch me. That was the last thing I heard of Kylo Ren for what seemed like an age.

The stormtrooper stationed at my door preformed just how any of them would, silent and stoic. He was behind me, but, if I twisted my neck around enough in the chair, I could manage to catch a glimpse of his helmet. Seeing the front of the mask instantly send pangs to my stomach as I was reminded of Finn. When he had told me that he had been a stormtrooper, I found it impossible to visualize. The genuinely caring and endlessly expressive Finn had, at one point, been one of these unfeeling soldiers of the First Order?

As hard as I tried, I could not imagine it.

But, such bittersweet musings could not be afforded right now – not if I wanted to see that boy again. I had to find a way out.

Thinking back to an hour before, to when I had pushed into Kylo’s mind, something that apparently had to do with the Force, an insane idea came to me. If I could perform that mind trick, what if I could do other ones? 

I had heard stories about the Jedi while growing up on Jakku, tales that were usually just thrown around by drifters or old beggars. I had always assumed that they were myths, but ever since Han had told me different, I had started to genuinely believe in the long lost Jedi.

Relying on a gut feeling, I decided to try my hand at a Jedi mind trick. I was, apparently, _pathetically_ desperate to try this.

Focusing energy behind me, but in reality being a little blind to where it should really go, I gave out a command.

“You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.”

“What did you say?”

“You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.” I repeated, my voice quivering as I started to rapidly lose confidence.

“I’ll tighten those restraints, scavenger scum.” 

In one last attempt, I tried my hand at a different approach. I cleared my mind and saw a vague face behind the white mask, picturing the trooper as an actual person. If I visualized someone who had a mind and will, it made it easier to take root, and so, expressionless, I unleashed another command.

“You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.”

Relieved from all anxiety, like releasing years of tension, the stormtrooper relaxed his shoulders, stood up straighter and looked forward, unseeingly. Knowing I had won, I tried not to let my petulant joy soil the victory and crumble my mind hold over the man.

“I will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open.”

Without the need for another word from either of us, he pressed the control on my restraining chair, unclasping the locks from around my wrists and ankles, and proceeded to strut out, unperturbed.

On an a very poorly thought out whim, I quickly blurted out a final command, “And you’ll drop your weapon!”

“And I’ll drop my weapon.”

I almost wanted to laugh as the clatter of a gun echoed from behind.

I did it.

But now it was time for the _truly_ difficult part.


	4. Chase

Laugher echoed off every surface of the small craft I now piloted. It panged against each wall, ricocheted with unbridled delight in a symphony of chest heaving gasps.

I did it.

I got passed the troopers, stole a ship, took out a few of their guns, and got the hell out of there.

As I flew forward, at lightspeed towards a destination I hadn’t even calculated yet, my eyes would scrunch up and I would erupt into a fit of cheeky giggles.

The smiley child on Jakku who used to wear an abandoned X-wing pilot’s helmet was present within me as I thought about the First Order’s prestigious little base. They ran such a tight operation and yet a “ _scavenger_ ” had made complete fools out of them all in a matter of hours. Even their heroic knight, the infamous Jedi Killer, Kylo Ren.

_Nothing more than the scared, beautifully vulnerable boy in my dreams._

Chasing down my laughter with that bitter thought, I returned to the present and tried to get my head straight.

The First Order had tracking devices on all their ships so, I would have to work fast to ditch this craft. Either I could land somewhere, get a new ship, and make my way back to Jakku, or just fly this thing straight to Jakku and pray that the First Order did not find me.

_Be realistic, Rey. They would find you in a minute, sure as death. Besides, would you even want to go back? What is there for you now?_

I leaned forward, palms pressed onto the console, and bowed my head between hunched shoulders. I could not make stupid plans like this. There was a war being fought inside my head between two halves of myself. One was my past self, and the other was my present self. My present self was much more enlightened.

Maz’s words, the ones that she so gently imparted to me back on Takodana, rang through my ears like a torture. My laughter from a few minutes ago, so easily forgotten, was replaced by a swollen jaw and tears. My more realistic side wept for the childish part of me that clung on to the fantasy that I had some ghost-like mother and father who would come rushing in, sweep me up, and save me. It wanted it so badly – it ached for it. Desperate, hopeful, maddened – like dying lungs clawing for breath, my inner child was dying to hold onto her delusions.

No.

My family was never coming back for me. I had to accept that now. Nothing on Jakku was the truth. Not the family, not the hope.

Not the boy or man in my dreams. Nothing was.

But Finn, Han, Chewie, BB-8. They were real.

And so was the map that BB-8 had.

So, grasping at straws, I figured perhaps the Ileenium system was a good place to start. That’s were BB-8 had said the Resistance base was, and if I didn’t find Finn or anyone else there, fighting for the Resistance would not be such a bad alternative.

However, the last thing I wanted was to lead the First Order to the location of the Resistance base, so I would need to get new transportation somewhere else before setting my course for the system. Shifting out of lightspeed, before I went too far out of range from my target, I consulted the digital map in the console to try and discern where a decent place to get a ride would be. I did not even have time to pinpoint my current location when a ‘ping’ from my weapons detection monitoring system warned me of an approaching ship.

Apparently, I had been wrong about just how badly the First Order wanted to find me.

Shifting into motion, I moved into what would be a very lengthy chase. It ended up being a game of wits for both parties. At times, when both our ships were neck and neck, when the game had turned into a confusing race and not even so much the usual “cat-and-mouse“that I had figured it would constantly be, I could see the First Order pilot maneuvering behind the glass of his ship’s cockpit.

The familiar mask of Kylo Ren looked back at my sweaty, grimacing face as I fought to hold on. I could not tell if the man whose face I knew so well by then, hidden behind his metal cage, was just as disturbed and crazed as mine, but I hoped so. A strange part of me hoped he was having as much bizarre enjoyment at this whole thing as I was. I hoped sweat was pouring down his face as we pushed each other further ahead into the seemingly endless chasm of space. I wanted desperately for him to take off that mask and see the black hair matted to his forehead and his brown eyes ablaze.

I needed him to be as pissed off as I was.

Part of me was terrified of dying out here, part of me was terrified of being captured again by the First Order, but a large part of me was having so much fun - I never wanted to stop.

Stars raced by me, adrenaline raced through me. I felt so alive, my chest ached – but in a good way.

_Maybe something is wrong with me._

Apart from the brief experience of outrunning a few First Order tie-fighters back on Jakku in the Millennium Falcon, I had never raced anyone. I would not exactly call what was happening between Kylo Ren and myself at this moment a _‘race’,_ but it certainly felt competitive.

I looked over at Ren, who eventually turned to meet me. We both knew, as much fun as I think we were both probably having, we could not keep racing and chasing each other forever. Eventually, one would have to win.

_Well, if one of us has to win, it sure as hell is going to be me._

Determined to not be bested by my rival, I took a chance and dove towards a planet that I saw below me. I did not bother to check what planet it was, what system I was in, nor if the inhabitants were friend or foe. Whether it was arrogance or confidence that forced my hand, I did not know, but I felt that it might have been intuition – or perhaps the Force.

Or sheer stupidity.

Kylo Ren would follow - of course, but my goal was to lose him somewhere in the wilderness of this planet. Rapidly descending through the layers of atmosphere, I could see that the planet I had chosen was densely covered in mountains, pine trees, streams, and other similarly rugged geography.

A glimpse of white caught my attention, and then, suddenly, fields of white started to pepper different sections of the landscape.

Snow.

I had only ever heard about it a few times and had seen it once in a digital rendering that a drifter had kindly shown me when I was a young child. He had told me a story about the planet Hoth, a planet entirely covered with the substance.

As fascinated, and horribly eager to touch and experience the snow as I was, I knew what such an element meant for me. My thin, gauzy clothes would not be adequate, especially since my body itself would be very sensitive due to not being acclimated to the conditions. I would need to be in a lower altitude if I were to have any chance at surviving. Maybe there was a cave, or I could hide out in some trees?

The whirl of Kylo Ren’s ship engine behind me knocked me from my thoughts.

_That will all have to be figured out later. You can survive anywhere. You have to._

Both Ren and I maneuvered closer to the surface, getting out our weapons systems to prepare to fire on each on each other. Neither of us had previously armed our canons before this. On my end, this was due to wanting to focus on evading him. On his end… - I have no idea why he did not shoot me down long before now.

Without a gunner to watch my back, doing the job of piloting and aiming was just about impossible, but I did not have the opportunity to see if I could achieve the feat of such multitasking.

Ringing in my ears, a flash of white, and the sensation of flying.

It was strange to momentarily experience the touch of _nothing._ By that, I mean that nothing whatsoever was in contact with my skin. For a moment in time, I was flying in the air, completely untouched by anything.

I longed for that feeling soon after, when the agony of being thrown down onto solid ground met my bones. I landed on my shoulder, and, mercifully, did not hear anything crack in it.

Around me, the sounds of large pieces of severed craft parts, whirling towards the surface, erupted through the air. It all sounded like explosions through my throbbing ears, my head echoing. I tried to stand up, but my eyes went blurry, all I could see was bright, flickering yellow and orange amongst a dark craggy landscape.

At this point, not thinking clearly, or perhaps at all, I did not possess much concern for myself. I suppose that is what happens when you are delirious. You just exist, and things are simply there for you to watch. So, I rolled onto my back, for no particular reason, and looked up at the sky. It was devoid of any bird, cloud, or spacecraft - just a bluish, grey twilight sky – one that I was not all that familiar with. Perhaps it was a sky that one found only on colder planets.

A spot of black came into my hazy view then, covering up the sky, and peered at me with interest. I peaked at it through half-lidded eyes, my consciousness was starting to ebb some then, and tried to find some more detail in its features. I did not have but half a second before it looked up at something far away to my right, and, with much haste, it grabbed me by the shoulders, and hoisted me up.

Bending, the black figure caught me with its shoulder at my waist and threw me over its shoulder. Through this entire maneuver, the figure had turned on heel and had started to run, not taking any concern to how carefully it carried me. Before I completely lost consciousness, the rude jostling made me painfully aware of a deep laceration in my left side…

…and the deafening roar of a most insidious beast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I tried to communicate in that piloting/chase sequence that Rey genuinely has a passion for flying that she just enjoys so much that, even though what is happening is dangerous, she is still having the time of her life. That is sort of like how, in TFA, Poe Dameron is "whoo"-ing the whole time in his X-wing and Finn and Poe are having a damn good time getting away from the First Order. She loves thinking that that frustration, rage, betrayal, and thrill of the chase is also happening to Kylo Ren only because that feeling is excruciating in a sense. So, hopefully, that was communicated okay. If not, let me know and I can do a re-write. If there is any kind of "imagine your OTP" sort of things that you would want to see, I sort of love reading those and would consider them if I find a few I like. Please review.


	5. Pride

_Don’t. Lose. It. Rey. Don’t. Lose. It._

Every leap from the shadow that carried me issued a painful jolt. My head bobbed up, down, back and forth in pace with the severely panicked and labored breathes coming from my transportation.

But, I did not focus too much on that - my bouncing line of vision was glued to the creature that was in full pursuit of my captor and I. It was well adapted to the climate of its planet, with an even coat of thick, wooly fur covering its massive body. As it ran, on all fours using its long arms to propel the rest of its body forward at a terrifying clip, I could tell that it was wounded – badly. The injury was not bleeding, appearing to have been cauterized.

_Lightsaber._

I knew then, through the veil of my barely coherent mind, whose shoulder I was being held on. If the giant creature, out to rip me apart, hadn’t been racing towards me at full speed, I would have thrashed around like a fish when the realization dawned. But, just looking at the claws on the furry thing froze me stiff.

That did not mean, however, that I was so scared that I could not start to make plans of escape.

I did not doubt that Kylo Ren would survive this creature; to die at the paws of some foreign beast would just not be a fitting death for him. It did not seem dramatic enough. No, he would walk away from this fight – and would then have all the time in the world to focus on me.

If I could get far enough away, perhaps I could lose him on this planet. But, where would I go then?

_Was my ship still flyable? Was his?_

My neck whipped to the side as Ren took a sharp left and entered into some extremely dark place. I had been so focused on my plan that I had not realized that my vision had started to grow clouded and my head had started to spin. I looked up and attempted to discern what I was seeing, concentrating on staying awake and letting my eyes adjust to the darkness.

Ren had shoved us through a small opening that widened up into what I saw was a cave. He quickly bent down and let my body slide off his shoulder and onto the floor, not pausing for a single moment. Turning to face the entrance, Ren, who I now realized was not wearing his mask, yanked the lightsaber from the belt around his waist and ignited it, preparing for an attack. His coiled frame was ready to spring in order to end whatever greeted him.

However, an attack never came. The sliver that made up the mouth of the cave, that had been plenty wide enough for Ren and I to easily fit through, was not nearly large enough to accommodate the massive stature of the animal. The dumb beast realized this itself as it tried to stick its wrinkly snout through the crack. It sniffed the air, and, smelling evidence of our presence, proceeded to issue out an ear-splitting roar. It was furious at being cheated out of a good meal, especially one that had given it the hassle of a lengthy chase. Apparently, it felt owed its reward for its efforts.

In the moment when the creature had its ugly nose wedged between in the crevice of the rock, Ren took advantage of the angle and shot forward. Slicing downward, Ren’s saber cut a deep gouge in the tender flesh, leaving a jagged hole where the nostrils had been only moments before. The creature did not yet pull away, screaming in pain, before I was able to see that Ren’s blow had cut clean through and that now teeth were visible from even where I was laying on the stone floor.

Gurgling and screeching were all that could be heard after as the thing dragged itself away. Eventually, all was silent in the cave, and the only light to be found was from the fissure in the wall and the eerie crimson glow of Kylo Ren’s lightsaber.

At last, now the immediate danger seemed to have ceased, I took a breath and began a self-analysis.

My skull felt like a plate that had been set on a table unevenly, and was now spinning slowly around its base. Each moment, the circumference of the rotation would get smaller, and I sensed that soon, when I reached the moment when the plate would clatter to lay flat, I would completely black out. Thinking back to the pain in my side, I looked down and was met with the sight of dark stains blotting my light tunic.

I looked to Ren, still facing the entrance with his broad back to me, and noticed that he too was staring down at himself, assessing something, closely inspecting his free hand.

“Blood… I don’t think I’m hurt. The creature wouldn’t have bled at all – not with this this,” he spoke, almost to himself, gesturing offhandedly to the saber in his right hand, “where is this coming from...?–“

He whipped around without warning, brows drawn in with suspicion, and looked down towards me. I shakily raised my eyes to his, lifting my blood-soaked palms to uncover my injured torso, my breathes now coming in deeply and uneven.

Cold realization dawned on him, the lightsaber was promptly put out and tossed to the ground, and he bounded forward, onto his knees.

Under other circumstances, I would have almost laughed.

He looked so completely lost again, much like he had on the Star-killer base. I knew immediately, based off of the look in his eyes, that he had no idea how to help me. Apparently, any kind of medical emergency training was not apart of the curriculum when learning the art of killing people with the First Order. For some odd reason, I had imagined, in the back of my mind, that Kylo Ren would have had a bit more of a well-rounded set of skills.

I watched with an eyebrow cocked, as Ren’s hands ghosted over my injured side, as if hoping for a miracle to occur. I was impressed by the calm that I now felt at watching him – maybe it was just an interesting distraction, seeing the poised and impressive charade melt off his imposing demeanor to reveal such insecurity.

“You have no idea what you are doing, do you?” I asked between breaths

Ren’s eyes, surprised, shot up to mine, his hovering hands paused above my torso. As vulnerable as his flesh-and-blood face naturally was, he still wore a mask, smooth and unreadable. It was his eyes, however, that gave him away.

The next few moments seemed like they stretched for a while I watched as he fought the urge to be prideful, as he was accustomed to doing. It was a small thing, to admit such a trivial ignorance, but I could only imagine how big of a blow that would be for him. His flexing jaw muscles and Adam’s apple reinforced my musings.

He wanted to lie to me so badly.

Finally, he dropped his eyes to my wound, “No. I have never had to do this. I’m not…sure…-“

I interrupted, “ _I_ know what to do. So you will have to listen to _everything_ I say. Understood?”

Ren stayed silent, seeming to weigh options in his head. I would have gladly prolonged the inevitable pain of cleaning and stitching the wound but, based off how soaked my clothes were, I could not possibly have much more blood to lose.

“Look,” I forced through clenched teeth, “You want that map, right? If you try to take it now, I will force you out of my head with every ounce of energy I have before I die, and you will _never get it._ But, if you help me now, maybe you’ll still have a chance.”

It took some mental debate that was clearly playing out inside Ren’s head, but, at last, he nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alright, so not so romantic, but I thought it would be a bit OOC if I made them too compatible right off the bat. I tried to have Rey come across as the person who keeps their cool (shit) together when things go south, while Ren is the one that tends to lose it a bit (Which, I mean, have you seen TFA?) So, I think they will balance each other out in that way. Please let me know if I need to fix anything. Next one should be up soon since I have MLK day off and I am really sick. Yay? And, as always, love ya AVeryPotterMormon <3


	6. Chapter 6

Letting out a huff, I began to instruct him, “Alright. Apply pressure.”

He blanked with a tiny shake of his head, “What?”

_Are you kidding me?_

I roughly grabbed his nearest hand, taking it in mine, and guided it to the puncture under my rib. He had his eyebrows screwed up in confusion as he watched me place his palm over the bloodied cloth, but never once did he rip his hand out of mine. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for what was to come, and forced his large hand down hard into my side. An involuntary groan escaped my clenched teeth when the pain coursed through me, my back arching from the sensation. When I could finally open my eyes, I was met with Ren’s, now larger and alarmed.

_What? As if this is the worse thing he has seen or done?_

“Now, tell me, what happened to your ship after you shot me down? Where did you land?”, I asked him, getting to the task at hand.

Confusion graced his features, a seemingly constant quality to them anymore. “I didn’t shoot you down. My shipped crashed at the same time as yours.”

For a second, I could not find it in me to believe him, so sure that he had been the reason that I had wrecked and gotten hurt. But, as his eyes truly did give everything away, I could see the truth within them. He too was just as puzzled by how we had ended up losing control of our crafts and plummeting out of the sky.

_Damn. This changes things. But, that will have to be dealt with later._

“Okay, then. How bad is your ship, do you know?”

“I…do not believe it is beyond repair. Why?”

“Is there any kind of medical supply kit on board? Surely there must be something for emergencies?”

He thought a moment, and with an exasperated shrug agreed, “Most likely. General Hux is very exact.”

“You need to get that. Only then can anything actually useful be done about helping this wound. But first, you will need to tie this up, and then build a fire.”

Sliding my hands underneath his, trying to ignore how badly I wanted to cry out, I took over the job of holding pressure. I instructed him to rip a portion of one of my tunic flaps, and then tie it under and around me. With a swift, tight knot, the tunicate was in place and Ren was free to start the fire.

“There are trees just outside. I caught sight of them before I took us in here. I’ll be back in a minute.”, he murmured away from me as he stood up.

Taking his lightsaber in hand, he bounded off towards the open air to retrieve some wood. He was, truly, only absent for a few minutes, and quickly returned with an arms full of lightly singed timber. Ren let it all fall to the ground in a cascade of ‘clunks’ before kneeling beside the pile. After a brief moment of hesitation, he looked at me, embarrassed.

With so much reluctance, he simply gestured to the wood with his hand, his mouth open with words he could not bring himself to utter.

_He can’t do this either…_

Understanding, I walked him through the steps of how to ignite the fire using the laborious method of friction. He found it frustrating, but with some encouragement, he discovered that his efforts paid off. Before long the cave was filled with the flickering warmth of natural light.

The whole time I had been giving Ren orders, I had been sensitive to how cold I was becoming. The pain that had been scorchingly severe, had become, not lessened, so much as numbed. This, I knew, was not a sign that I could take as positive.

Ren _had_ to get those supplies as quickly as possible.

Once the fire was complete, I sent him off. He assured me that he knew the way back to the crash site and would return with whatever he could salvage from the wreckage. Before he left, he gave me a brief once over at the entrance and repeated, more to himself than to me, that it would not take him long.

I curled up, mindful of the gash, and desperately attempted to sponge some heat from the fire. Frail and drained, I reflected on my situation. I was stranded on a planet, without a ship, with a murderer who hated me and wanted to kill me.

_Not the best situation._

Especially considering that I was currently bleeding to death in a cave with my life resting in the hands of the aforementioned murderer.

However, what also captured my thoughts was the glaring fact that Kylo Ren did not shoot me out of the sky. He had not fired upon me at all.

I mused for a while longer, my mind resting on subjects, memories, and faces before I found myself drifting off peacefully to the flames dancing behind the membrane of my closed eyelids.

* * *

 

_Rey…_

_Rey…_

_Rey._

_Rey!_

“Rey!”

Cotton mouthed, head filled with sand, I groggily sifted through the darkness covering me, trying to get to the sound of my name being called. It felt like what I imagined swimming must feel like. Weightless and suspended, and yet so difficult to maneuver to where you wanted to go.

The farther up I swam, the more of a warm tint my consciousness seemed to take on. All around me, even in my bones, I was keenly aware of the electrical energy of the aura. Each time I climbed upwards, towards my name, the aura cheered me on. It roared in my ears like a rambunctious crowd, as if elated that I was reaching my destination. It spurred me on further, with greater intensity.

Like a rocket, I hoisted myself up with a solid final effort and shot clear out of the dark. The shock of cool air against my physical body prompted my eyes to crack open. An image, one that I could not quite make out immediately, met my bleary vision. Still not completely sure where I was, or what was going on, I waited for my sight to clear while I felt two large, warm things touch my face and shoulder. One of them cupped my cheek, and the other firmly shook my shoulder.

It was not long before I was able to draw logical conclusions, and it seemed as if the rest of my faculties reluctantly followed suit.

Assessing, I took in the scene: Ren was on his knees, in a panic it seemed, attempting to shake me awake. Apparently, I had passed out, the loss of blood forcing me to lose consciousness.

Just the thought made me almost drift back into the shadows again, remembering the reality of my injury making its presence impossible to ignore.

“I’m still here.” I croaked out, the flesh of my parched gums sticking onto itself as I spoke.

The picture came in clearly to my eyes now and I saw him, disheveled and frustrated. I could only assume he had been attempting to force me awake for a while.

He huffed out, relieved, “I did end up finding a medical kit. I think it should have everything that we need. But, you’ll have to tell me what to do.”

I was about to respond with an ‘of course’, but a fresh wave of chilling fatigue quaked through me. His face went hazy again, and the sensation of his hands dulled, only to sputter back to life once more – as if there were a bad connection over a communicator. As if I were travelling farther away from him. It was apparent to be that I would not be able to stay conscious long enough to guide him through how to save me.

“Ren…” I said with a steadying breath, shaking my head gently.

Frozen, he understood at once, fixing me with an unreadable stare and the cogs turned as he debated something difficult in his head. I briefly wondered if I would be able to stay awake in time to see if he had actually ended up deciding anything.

The hand on my face shifted then so that the middle and index fingers were firmly pressed against my temple. My brows scrunched up as I tried to work out what he was doing, but when a probing sensation began to massage my cranium, a sickened, cold dread poured into my stomach. It washed through up into my sternum, making me nauseous.

_Betrayed again._

He was trying to get the map. How could I have been so naïve, so juvenile? He knew, seeing how weak I was, that I could not fight him out now, regardless of what I had threatened earlier. That was all talk. Now that I was actually here, bleeding out onto the floor, I did not have a chance at mustering any kind of strength, mental or physical.

But I will be dammed if I would not at least try.

I brought my hands up to push him off while I wormed my torso away as best as I could manage. The result was pitiful at best, but it did get his attention. Fixing the monster with a glare that I hoped brought across every ounce of betrayed horror I felt, I shoved him once more.

His confusion only lasted a second before he comprehended me, turning angry.

“Stop!” he commanded as I pushed again, responding by engulfing both of my wrists easily with his other one hand. “Rey, listen to me. I am _not_ trying to take the map. I am trying to find the instructions on how to mend you.”

_I’d say the same thing if I were like him._

I did not budge.

Ren’s face crumbled into an expression that I had never seen him wear before – one of regret. He knew exactly what I was thinking - he didn’t even have to read my mind. Perhaps he could see through me as well as I see through him.

“You have no reason to trust me, that much is obvious. But, you _are_ going to bleed to death, and you are of no use to me dead. You hate me, but you need to trust me – just this once.”

Wants conflicting with desires, I felt myself being softly swayed by the emotional, but logical, appeal of his words. I swallowed down a sob as tears escaped the moment my tensed muscles relaxed in his hold, a clear signal that I was in compliance. Ren released my wrists and raised himself closer up to bring both hands to either side of my head, clenching my temple.

It was not hard to let the control go, not as weak as I was. Nonetheless, I still hated myself the whole time, but I knew there was no other option for me. Lying back, I looked into his concentrated eyes as he worked to recover what I desperately hoped was just simply the way to stitch a wound closed and disinfect it.

With no real boundary between reality and unconsciousness at that point, I did not notice when I faded off. The last memory that I could recall was that of Ren’s blurred face moving away, warm hands sliding off my cheeks while he murmured departing words to me.

“I’ve got it, Rey. I’ve got it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this one felt hasty? anyone else agree? Anyway, love the butterflies I get when I see a notification for reviews or fav's for this story in my inbox - so, that just means = I love you all. Tell me what you want and what is missing, please. I truly do like to hear it. 
> 
> averypottermormon, Enjolras123, Perry Downing
> 
> ^ you guys are the jam ;) {:^)


	7. Chapter 7

Tremors from a chilled wind wracked through me as the pale light of morning leaked past my eyelids. When I awoke, sore and stiff, the fire was smoking out and a bizarre chatter of an unknown bird was ringing from a tree just outside. Making the usual moans and groans that accompanied my morning ritual, this time amplified due to my pain, I cautiously stretched out my arms above me. As soon as the cool atmosphere came into contact with my skin, I dove back down under the cloth that covered me, desperate to find refuge in the warm haven once more. The scrap of fabric was a thick, black textile, tattered at the edges and had holes throughout, ones that appeared to have been formed from multiple burns. 

Instantly, I recognized it.

However, in inspecting the now slightly offensive makeshift blanket, I had brushed over a particularly tender area on my side. Pulling back my shirt, my fingers met a sterile, white bandage, crisscrossed over my abdomen. It took some maneuvering, but eventually, I was able to peak underneath the surprisingly tidy wrappings and take a look at Ren’s work. 

The stitches were not done neatly - or even _well_ , for that mater - but it was obvious that there was a lot of effort that had been put into the process. I could tell that he had at least been careful. 

Sighing, I covered the mess of mangled flesh with the bandage, rearranged my shirt, and laid down once more. But, suddenly, something felt off, and I had a feeling that I should be concerned and on the alert. Snapping my eyes to the corner of the cave, I found Ren sitting on a rock far too small for him. His entire attention was focused on me, and, apparently, had been for some time.

Shocked to see his dark figure perched there, I was frozen with the embarrassment of having been so unguarded in front of another person, especially my enemy. Despite my mortification, he did not seem to be even slightly uncomfortable, instead his narrow face showed him to be just as haughty and self-assured as he had been the moment he took off the mask at StarKiller Base.

He was right back to being Kylo Ren. And I was back to being the captive who had to escape him. Now that the wounds were being mended, the situation was still the same.

_Just a different interrogation room._

But any hopes for my escape were resting on how quickly the pain in my side would ease. With no medication to dull the fire, it was difficult to ignore just how excruciating the simple act of breathing was – moving at all would prove to be a challenge. 

However, I could not just lay on the floor all day - especially not with Ren’s eyes glued onto me. Being in a more ‘equal’ position would at least put my mind to rest, even if my body hated me for it.

As gingerly as I could, I moved out from underneath my blanket, hating the chill that came to attack me. The goose bumps that arose upon my flesh were not welcome residents on my body. It was quite a task to inch into a cross-legged position, but, with some time and many steadying breaths, I managed to accomplish a decent spot.

Sweat beading on my paling face, I looked up to see Ren staring at me, expressionless. 

I ignored him and moved on to what I wanted to know, “What planet is this?” 

“I am not sure. Before we crashed, I had thought that my onboard mapping system had been faulty when I didn’t get a read out, but now I don’t think so. This is unlike any place that I have ever heard of. The creatures here are not ones that I am familiar with. It seems that this is an uncharted planet.”

An excited glow grew within my chest, a childish one that I could not stamp out, and a slight grin spread on my lips, “We’ve discovered a planet?”

One of Ren’s brows raised in confusion, almost barely enough for me to see.

His reaction reminded me of whom I was dealing with, and forced me rein myself in. I had lived on Jakku for so long with no one around only to one day collide, literally, with Finn, a boy so exuberant and energized. Just thinking about how over-a-moon he would have been about the prospect of discovering a planet, and how far away Finn was now, made becoming sullen again much easier.

But, Ren’s next words broke through my reverie, “When I went back to retrieve the supplies last night, the fires had died out in the wreckage. My ship needs some work, but is not beyond hope, however yours… yours might never fly again. Fortunately, it will only take one craft to get us both back to the First Order.”

I fixed him with my coldest stare. Of course, he knew that I would fight against him, which is precisely why he was teasing me this way. It was not as if I was suddenly going to hand over everything that I had fought so hard to hide.

“The same thing is going to happen if you take me back. I _will_ resist you. _Every time_.” I bit out.

His cool gaze did not waver, “It will not be me that you will have to resist. I will be taking you to my master. I am sure he will have no problem extracting the map from you.”

I snorted and cracked a joyless half-smile, anger simmering, “ _And_ no problem killing me after. Or will that get to be your job?”

Suddenly, Ren’s face altered, a choreographed dance of tendons in his jaw, one that always seemed to commence whenever he faced a conflict, played out in his cheek. Brows furrowed, his line of sight shifted away from me, diverted, as he considered the sequence of events.

Choosing his words carefully, he spoke with clear hesitation, obviously trying to convince himself of his own thoughts, “You need a teacher. The Supreme Leader is wise; he will not disapprove of utilizing your power. _I_ could show you the ways of the Force.”

At this point, my blood was boiling. I had never felt myself react this quickly to anyone before, and yet I was becoming enraged with every second. I could not grasp what was making me more irate: the fact that he wanted me to embrace the Dark Side, or the fact that he was playing into the hands of such an obviously evil master? Was he that blind? 

The next words to issue forth from my mouth were ones that I would come to regret, even if they were true. I didn’t know it at the time, but the look in his eyes, caused by my actions, was a look that I did not want to see in anyone again.

“You would teach me to murder people? Like you do? To be a monster? "

Pain. Shock.

Probably more taken off guard at my choice of words than anything, Ren was only vulnerable for a brief second and instantly composed himself. True to character, to remedy whatever weak emotions he felt, Ren swiftly quelled them with taciturnity, and an unperturbed shroud graced his face. However, it was plain to see, the damage was done.

With sharp eyes and tone, he turned back to me, “You _will_ come to know the power of the Dark Side, just as I did.” 

The statement hanging in the air, he stood up, unfolding his long limbs, and strode out of the cave, hands in tense fists at his sides.

It was hours before Ren returned; my time waiting for him was spent doing nothing in particular. I was intimately familiar with the art of waiting, but, usually, I had something to _do._ With the stitching in place, I had no hope of occupying my time with exploring, exercising, or really anything that involved motion. The only thing that I did end up doing, much to my never-ending irritation, was sewing. Using the needle and thread that was left over in the medical supply kit, I had made use of a good hour or so by mending some of the holes in Ren’s scarf. While I could not fix the horribly ragged, tattered ends, I had successfully managed to at least make the piece solid again.

When finished, there was nothing left to do but start a fresh fire and sit back until night fell. Hours later, watching the flames caress the walls, I was distracted enough to not hear sounds, signaling an approach, until they were feet away from the entrance of the cave. Heavily spaced footsteps and a scraping noise rang out in a pattern until their maker appeared, breathing deeply, at the door. 

Ren, masses of black hair stuck onto his forehead, trudged towards the fire, dragging behind him a trove of objects. When he finally came to a stop, leaving his finds to rest in front of me, I was amazed to see that it was all food _._ Lying in a, what I realized was fur, bundle, was a plethora of different kinds of fruits, nuts, and vegetables that were native to the planet. 

_At least he wasn’t off pouting for hours._

This…was not exactly what I would have expected out of Ren, especially not after insulting him as I had. Of course, the food was not only for me, but, regardless, the act alone was shocking. Such kindness did not fit his character at all, and this fact was so glaring that I did not immediately dive in to the array, despite how absolutely hollow my stomach was. I was used to being hungry, I could hold out for the sake of my unease.

But, the look I received from Ren, when he noticed I was not eating, fit the man that I knew perfectly and I was instantly contented. The food was simply means of keeping a prisoner alive - just like the stitches.

Reaching out, I grabbed two items, both just as exotic as the other. The first, the strangest, was a fibrous, pyramid shaped object that I could not categorize as a fruit, vegetable, or nut. The other was a round, light red thing whose flesh was adorned with a coating of raised bumps. While inspecting the food closely, I felt Ren’s eyes on me. I was about to ask him what some of this tasted like, if he even knew, right before one of his hands came down to pick from the pile.

Taking his piece in hand and examining it between his fingers, he confidently bit into the yellow sphere with a crunch. I watched him intently while he chewed, waiting to see if he spit it out in disgust – or, perhaps started choking to death on a toxin – but he finished his mouthful, pleased with the taste. And so, looking down at my first choice, the odd pyramid, I shrugged my shoulders and commenced gorging myself. Just like on Takodana, since I was no longer limited to ‘portions’, I was absolutely ravenous.

Ren did not comment on my limitless appetite, probably having seen from my memories how precious food had always been for me, and let me have almost the entire pile. Throughout the night, I had been brave and bit into even the most peculiar looking items. 

Unfortunately, as I found out the unpleasant way, not everything he had scavenged was meant to be consumed.

In some instances, as I tried to chew a morsel, it became apparent that the task was impossible, and I ended having to spit it out. During these times, while I was quietly coughing and picking bits of foreign objects off my tongue, I could swear I would see Ren in my periphery discreetly trying to appear disinterested. He would deliberately take a bite of whatever he had, and would direct his gaze at the ceiling, unsuccessfully killing off a smirk.

I could not decide if it was unnerving or reassuring to find that he was capable of a somewhat positive emotion.

When nothing but scraps remained, I began to grow tired again. Many times throughout the day, I had fallen prey to sleep – a side effect of being wounded, and now, having been properly nourished, my body was once again signaling me that it was time to rest. Sliding onto my side, I was about to reach for Ren’s scarf as a cover again when a nagging question made its way to my tongue.

“Where did you get this?” I asked, pinching the fur Ren had dragged the food in with.

“The animal that chased us? It died from its wounds and I found it collapsed not far from here. I needed to carry the food, so I skinned part of its arm with my saber.”

My eyes widened as I looked down from Ren’s face to the large patch of fur, a chunk bigger than my entire body.

_Just the arm?_

“Use it. It will be far warmer than that scrap.” He said offhandedly, shaking me from my alarm. 

I picked up the scarf he was referring to, admiring my handiwork, and decided he was right. Folding up the black knit, I tucked it underneath my head, happy for the added comfort, and pulled my new, heavier blanket onto myself.

Half an hour later, drifting off, I watched Ren sit on his rock by the fire, with his forearms resting on his knees. He was looking into the flames, lost in some deep daydream, so entrenched in his own mind he did not notice me unabashedly studying him from my cozy spot on the floor.

Briefly, I mused, as shadows conformed to the contours of his brow, whether or not I would still dream of him, even though I had the real man right in front of me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hopefully, not too OOC. I have this plot idea that will hopefully explain why he might be (if he came off this way a tad in this chap). As always, you guys are lovely. Thank you so much for taking the time to say stuff :). AVeryPotterMormon, Enjolras123, Perry Downing = constructive and amazing as always. I have a fab crew here.


	8. Intuition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...it has been a long time. Depression and bad meds never cease to do some damage. But, enough of all that - I was so inspired by The Last Jedi that the spark has been reignited once more. So, as a little Christmas present, I decided to upload this short little thing. Going back to reread this thing, I really do not like it, but am so interested in continuing. I will be writing as much as I can while I've got the bug and so I look forward to seeing this thing grow. I am excited for my Rey and Ben. Please review guys, you have always been so kind, and I hope you don't mind coming back and continuing where we left off. Merry Christmas and happy holidays. xx
> 
> ***ALSO: I AM going back to rewrite - just to have better writing and character development this time. Also, I will be changing most things to 3rd person.

My strength was slowly returning – the sensation of dragging my reluctant limbs along every time I so much as moved food to my lips was no longer there. Now, all that remained of my ordeal was the jagged scar running along under my ribcage, and a slight soreness. I did not remember ever healing this fast before, although, I could not give a good guess at just how many days it had been since Ren and I had crashed landed here. Time passed so strangely on this planet, one could not be sure of the time. The rising and setting of the sun did not appear to be consistent – it had no real pattern. There were long spans of time where it would be either complete darkness or complete light; sometimes, a day would begin, only to have momentary lapses of night, each span only lasting about an hour. As this unknowable amount of time elapsed, I began to wonder if this unusual pattern was having a particularly disorienting effect on Ren and I.

I began to notice the tenor of my dreams start to change; most of my dreams were new, so unlike any I had ever had. Unlike my typical dreams, which would take place against almost completely black landscape, these were bright and alive. They lacked shape, only blurred outlines, but they were colorful – so unlike the landscape of Jakku, or even this strange planet I was trapped on. Greens, reds, and yellows would scatter in a mirage, dancing with murmured voices and happy energy. This energy was unlike the buzzing flow of the aura that warmed my chest; instead, it was a peaceful hum. My dreams of the mysterious boy, who was unfortunately not so mysterious any longer, crackled with a different vigor – they were not as tender and carefree. These were blissful.

I had never been lucky enough to have such nonsensical and untroubled dreams, and now more than ever I was glad to have them. It was something to look forward to amidst Ren’s mounting severity.

As the days past, Ren was becoming continually…different. The longer we stayed here, the angrier and more uncontained he had become – somehow, could sense an imbalance within him. The calm arrogance he had shown when we first met was slowly fading, and he seemed so much less collected. Each day, when I awoke at dawn, I would find the cave empty, not seeing Ren again until he checked in on me around midday and brought a new heap of food along with him. It was not until late evening that I would see him again; each time he would arrive soaking wet with sweat, and barely containing his frustration. For the longest time, I had figured he was frequenting the crash site each day, steadily rebuilding his ship as quickly as he could manage. However, this idea was brutally shut down.

Around the fire, after another silent dinner, I asked about his routine disappearances – asking if he was getting anywhere with the repairs. Immediately, the tension between us - a constant companion - sharply increased as he fixed a heavy glare at the fire. Somehow, my mention of him restoring the ship had struck a nerve. I had just been prepared to take another bite of strange fruit when I paused to watch him. He didn’t say anything for the longest time, just continuing to glower at the flames.

“I have been somewhat successful. There are some components still needed,” he replied shortly.

“Can’t you just take them from my ship?” I asked, sensing there was something he was hiding.

Ren huffed a steadying breath, “I do not posses-…I am not able to _acquire_ the parts from the wreckage of your ship.”

I worked over those words for a few moments, not fully understanding what he was saying. If he was unable to find the parts, then how could he still entertain ever getting the right ones? His ship could not be repaired then – if my ship didn’t have what he needed… But, then it finally hit me.

“Are you saying you can’t _get_ to the parts?”

Ren’s gaze was as elusive as ever, his expression clearly saying his ego was being wrinkled.

“You need a scavenger,” I said, awed. Despite who I was talking to, I could not help but let my lips curl – Kylo Ren, in his own arrogant way, was actually asking _me_ for assistance.

“Regrettably, yes. I require someone small enough to fit where I cannot.”

_He is too large to fit in between the wreckage?_

I almost snorted, but my amusement left as quickly as it had come; the context of our situation crashed down on me – as if I could possibly forget for long. “And why, in this galaxy, would I help you?”

Kylo turned, eyebrows raised as if the answer was obvious, “You’re saying you would _want_ to spend the rest of our lives stuck on this planet, living out your days in this cave – with me?”

I huffed, “No. Of course not. But the minute we get your ship up and running, you’re taking me straight back to the First Order. We will be in the same position that we were in before.” I paused, hesitant to let him know the rest of my thoughts on the matter, but gave in, “Besides…I’ve spent my entire life surviving in a junky relic in the middle of the Jakku dessert. I can handle this place.”

He cocked his head to the side with a dark brow quirked, not quite believing my words, “Maybe you can handle this place, but are you certain you could live with _me_? I can feel the hatred radiating off you even now.”

“What makes you so sure I couldn’t kill you? Then most of my problems would be solved. No probing my mind. No betraying the Resistance. None of it,” I spit out, a heavy glare leveled at him.

But, Ren did not become enraged, or even appeared wounded. He smirked, an infuriating smile glinting in his eyes that set my teeth on edge. It was obvious he wasn’t taking me seriously – he thought I was all talk, no action.

I took a steadying breath and continued with carefully chosen words, “There is something inside of me…something that has always been there. But, now it’s awake, and I don’t know what it is. You saw it – back at your base. Our shared dreams, the strange energy…” Just then Ren’s jaw tightened and he looked away; but, I didn’t let it go, “I know this is not a conversation you want to have – that makes two of us - but, we _have_ had shared dreams, and I _know_ it has something to do with this …energy – aura – whatever it is.” My voice dropped into a whisper despite myself, “Is this the Force?”

Ren was silent for some time, holding my gaze and considering me. Finally, he spoke, “Yes, it is the Force. I feel it too - stronger now.” He shook his head, “I don’t know why it has been connecting our dreams…but, it is clear you are strong with the Force - untrained and naïve – but…powerful.”

I tensed, frightened by what this could mean about myself – and because what Ren had said felt like a compliment.

Ren interrupted my thoughts, and added, “You need a teacher. Someone to show you how to wield the Force.”

The tension in the cave grew thick enough where I could almost hear it ringing in my ears.

_A teacher._ He meant himself, of course. He was, in an indirect way, offering _his_ instruction. I felt my neck become hot with anger and poison leak into my words, “ _You_? What would you teach be besides darkness and evil? You know nothing of light. If anyone is going to help me, it isn’t going to be you.”

Unfazed, Ren pressed on, “Perhaps not…but the Darkness is powerful. Strong in ways the Jedi – the Light - could never be. I feel it in you – a darkness. You’ll see soon enough, if shown the proper way to harness your power, which path is your destiny. Just as I saw which path was mine.”

What darkness there was inside of me, I did not know. But, I could never fathom turning towards the insidious path of the Dark Side. Tales of the Jedi I had grown up hearing from passersbys were often accompanied by similar lore of the Sith. Corrupted and vile, the Sith harnessed the Force in unimaginable ways. Ways that bent and violated nature; the toll it took on their bodies and souls was almost too horrid to recount. I might have had a challenging life, but I was well grounded in the difference between right and wrong. The ways of the Sith felt intuitively wrong – not tempting enough to fall prey to, even with the appeal of unlimited power.

Thinking of the Sith, I was reminded again that Ren did not quite fit the picture I had constructed in my mind of a Sith lord. The soft tenor of our dreams, the vulnerable fear I had read in his mind during the interrogation, and, most of all, his insecure convictions. He might have fully accepted the Dark side in his mind, but his heart felt differently. Whatever was awake in me could now sense, inexplicably, the doubt emanating from him. He was not fully gone.

“ _Have_ you chosen your path?” I whispered. Ren’s head whipped around, defensive; but, the aura – the Force - was acting up again, making me sure of my words, “You’ve done such abhorrent things, and yet you’re not convinced. You say you feel darkness in me – I feel something in you too. There is conflict in you.”

Ren and I held each other’s gaze, challenging one another to either give in or refute. We kept our stares calm, only my slightly heavy breathing, and the small muscle movements around Ren’s eyes and lips giving our shared frustrations away.

Ren was the one to break our stalemate, his voice strained, “Your wound seems to have improved enough. Tomorrow, at dawn, you will help retrieve the necessary parts for my ship, and then, we will begin with your first lesson.”

Before I could so much as raise my chin in acknowledgment, Ren hefted himself off his low perch around the fire. His hulking form cast a huge shadow against the cave wall, an intimidating shape flickering with every spasm of a flame, as he moved to his side and laid down. His back to me, he made sure I could see his face. I knew he was tumbling my words, and our strange circumstance, over in his head. He did not want to appear weaker than I already exposed him to be, so he closed himself off like this. It was almost satisfying to have had such an impact on him.

This reaction, this shattering of his façade, spoke volumes more than even our bond could tell me. He knew I was right – he was afraid.  


	9. Lesson One

Sunlight filtered in past the jagged stone mouth of the cave, falling in thin beams across Rey’s face. Sitting up, eyes refusing to open, she yanked her blanket tighter around her shoulders. The cold air was as piercing as ever, now that the fire had long since died, and it made the prospect of leaving her blanketed haven highly unappealing. However, a strange sensation tugged on Rey as the seconds stretched, and she felt increasingly itchy. Reflexively, she moved to scratch her nose, but it did nothing to relieve the discomfort. Cracking open her eyes to investigate, she caught sight of a dark form directed towards her. Being sleep addled, it took Rey’s eyes few good blinks to get the image to clear. At last, she could discern the shape: Ren was watching her. He carried a look of vague interest and scrutiny, but said nothing.

“What?” she asked, unnerved.

“Nothing,” he responded off handedly after a moments pause, “I have been waiting for you to wake up. If you remember, we were supposed to get started at dawn.”

_Ah, yes. The scavenging and “training” started today_ , she thought wryly.

With a sigh, she stood to collect her boots, and Ren silently moved to wait at the entrance. Fatigued limbs, still heavy with sleep, protested as she flexed and shifted. As childish and unnecessary as she very well knew it was, Rey’s tiredness make her crabby, and she couldn’t help but grumble.

“You could have woken me up…” she mumbled out lowly, marching past a stationary Ren.

Once outside, Rey was again taken back by the strange beauty of the planet; it was wild, free, and infinitely different than anything she had ever known. She wanted to look at every possible inch of the scenery, but Ren moved ahead and began striding toward the crash site. He threw a look over his shoulder, indicating Rey needed to follow. Apparently, she had already wasted enough of his time this morning.

The trek to the crash site was much longer than she could remember from her hazy memories. Her perspective of the previous journey was not the best, having had been roughly carried on Ren’s back while he ran, but it was hard to imagine he had managed to cover such a distance. Up and down small hills, the way lined with massive trees and rock, she and Ren walked until evidence of the accident began to appear ahead of them.

A deep furrow had been scored into the dirt, starting small and then piling up more and more soil as the gouge grew deeper and pronounced. Eventually, after a few uprooted and broken trees, the violent gash ended, and Rey could make out the sharp edges of the ship she had stolen from the First Order. Around its broken debris, there were scorch marks from a sizable fire long since smoked out. Some distance off to the side, evidence of a similar crash appeared – Ren’s ship. Even from far away, Rey could tell his vessel had definitely not faired as badly as hers, most pieces entirely unmarred.

On one side of the wide lane that made up the crash site was dense trees, all of them the same rough and hardy species she could see just outside the cave. Flanking on the other side was a high outcropping of dark tan rocks, each a different size. What drew Rey’s eye, however, were the countless slash marks hewn into the side of one particularly large boulder. She wandered closer, while Ren obliviously continued his march towards the wreckage, and saw the obvious signs of scorching marring the rock face. Each hack into the boulder was punctuated with powdery black char. Rey knew at once it was the work of a lightsaber. A lightsaber wielded by someone particularly angry; the slashes, at least thirty in total, were made with ferocity - without abandon.

Rey’s fingertips traced the edge of a particularly nasty gash, following its slight arc up and along the bumpy surface.

_This was Ren’s way of letting off a bit of steam_ , she thought _._

She wasn’t sure why she found cold surprise at this – she knew him capable of such fury, the raging energy always bubbling just beneath his surface. But, she could not understand why he had lost control here at the crash site, entirely alone and unperturbed. Perhaps, he was aggravated by their dire situation – by being stranded. But, once Rey thought it, that explanation did not satisfy her. Ren may have been unbalanced, but this was something more. This seemed personal.

Rey felt eyes on her then and, turning her head, found Ren regarding her with a hard stare. His eyes moved to rove over his own frustrated handiwork. “Are you coming?” he asked, his tone forcibly casual. It was apparent he definitely did not want to talk his lapse of control.

Rey raised her chin in silent acknowledgment and turned away from the rock, but its angry disfigurement was never far from her mind.

Her ship, or what was left of it, was completely unrecognizable, even up close. Covered in dirt and charring, the twisted metal poked out at all angles. But, sizable breaches gaped open between the gnarls – gaps just large enough for Rey to fit through. Using rope that Ren had retrieved earlier from his ship’s emergency crate, she began to tie rigging; useful during her times scavenging on Jakku, the rope brace would serve her just as well now. When finished, she turned to Ren, waiting for him to clue her in on what he needed retrieved.

“The part I need is a cylinder, about a foot long, and almost as thick as your arm. There are markings on the si-“

“Look,” she began, cutting him off, “You know I have been a scavenger my entire life – you’ve seen my memories yourself. Any part you need, I know what it looks like, and where to get it. This will go a lot faster if you just give me the name of what you want.”

He looked slightly taken at her directness, but recovered smoothly, “It’s a power outlay differentiator.”

Rey nodded, immediately picturing the component in her mind, and proceeded to shimmy in through the nearest gap. It was a tight fit, but she was as flexible as a Nightwatcher worm. She could feel Ren’s eyes on her as she maneuvered down. If she could have seen his face, she would have seen the unlikely expression of concern etched on his features.

Ren was increasingly perplexed by this scavenger girl. From the instant he saw her in the forest, recognizing her as the girl he had often seen in dreams, he was rapt with curiosity. But, he also despised her – she was sympathetic to the Resistance, close with Han Solo, and powerful enough to not only defy him, but also throw his own power back at him. He despised her - and yet he was enthralled. It bothered him, more than he ever let himself dwell on, when she had been injured during the crash. Each day since, he became more and more frustrated with himself and his feelings.

He made a point of leaving in the early hours of the morning, and returning late in the night. He told himself it was to avoid associating with the girl, but that was not all together true. She was constantly on his mind, either at the forefront of his thoughts, or tucked away to the side, never truly out of range. It always seemed as if she were with him, plaguing him; if he were to be physically with her for too long, his anger would surely crop up again.

The slash marks on the boulder, the ones he had hoped Rey would not have noticed, were reminders of how irritated he had grown while repairing the ship. While inspecting damage, tightening bolts, and connecting fuses, his mind had wandered – always back to her. Between his wavering resolve to remain loyal to the Darkness, and his growing compassion for the girl, he was beginning to feel unhinged.

The sooner he rectified the damage to his ship, and got them both off this rugged planet, the sooner he would be free of all this distraction. He required guidance, although he was ashamed of needing it so soon, and was anxious to receive support from the Supreme Leader. Without Snoke’s continued influence directing his path, nurturing his anger, Ren could feel the call to the Light keenly. With his repeated pleas to his grandfather ignored, he was left with no choice but to look elsewhere for reassurance.

And the girl was not helping matters. Not only was she a distraction herself, her mysterious identity and role in his life still unanswered, she also could read him well. Having weaknesses was infuriating enough, but having his prisoner privy to them was maddening. While he sensed a darkness within her, she claimed to feel the opposite in him. And he feared she was right.

A hot blush of rage crept up his neck, and his gloved hand twitched over the cool metal of the lightsaber clipped to his side. He wanted so badly to use it, let everything bursting inside him seep out like a flood, but with Rey so close, he did not dare. Ren could hear her shifting about the tight cavity as she worked to pry the differentiator out. He knew she was not fully healed, just putting on an unbothered façade, but he knew her too well. She was in slight pain – enough to impede her. And so, Ren stayed close, telling himself it was necessary to keep a watch eye on this captive.

Rey eventually yelled up to him, letting him know she had retrieved the differentiator, and Ren fed her the name of the next item he needed. Hours passed like this – Ren would give her a name of a part, and Rey would work to find it. Eventually, a small pile of mechanical odds and ends accumulated at Ren’s feet.

When Rey was on her twentieth or so salvage mission, a loose coupling motivator fell from above her head, ricocheting off the sides of the fissure. She dodged it successfully before it crashed onto her head, but the noise it made as it descended into the black was deafening. Outside, Ren clamored to his feet, heart pounding, and rushed to the opening of the gap. In his mind, he imagined what had caused the noise, each scenario stressing him further: the rigging gave way and Rey fell, a large component had come loose and fallen on her, maybe remnants of the hypermatter current had become aggravated by her prying and electrocuted her – cooking her in the all-metal surround. But, when Ren hefted himself up and over to peer inside, he found a very calm Rey lightly swinging amidst the dark and mangled machinery. Seeing her perfectly uninjured instantly reminded Ren that he should not have cared in the first place – he felt the angry blush ignite again.

When she heard panicked breath, Rey looked up and saw Ren’s wide eyes gazing down at her, his face sheet-white.

“What do you think you are doing!” Ren snarled, yell echoing painfully.

Rey stared up at him cautiously, now thoroughly confused, “Uh…one of the coupling motivators came loose and…it fell.”

Back at the top, Ren ran a hand through his hair anxiously. Her simple, yet logical, explanation of what happened only served to make him angrier. But not at her; he was again frustrated with himself. He shoved away from the mouth of the opening and paced away, willing his mutinous heart to calm. Ren’s lack of response after such an outburst did not nothing to calm Rey, however, and she yanked herself up the length of rope, surfacing into the much-welcomed crisp air.

“Why are _you_ so upset? It’s not as if I dropped the microvalve,” she said, pulling out his most recent request from her pocket to show him.

Ren didn’t answer, his back to her. He was breathing deeply, recovering from his overreaction, and still too annoyed with himself to respond. But, he wasn’t the only one annoyed; at his silence, Rey threw up her hands with a dramatic huff. As well as it felt she knew him, she could not ever seem to pinpoint his mood – he was closed off and unpredictable.

_But then,_ she thought, _maybe he is upset about something else._

She thought back to moments ago when Ren’s face had appeared above her. When he heard the loud crash, he had come running to check on her. She focused on her memory – on his face. In it there had been fear, panic, anxiety, and worry. All things she never expected to see so openly displayed on his person.

_He had been worried I was hurt._

Suddenly, she understood, although the reasoning still alluded her, why he was closed up now. The captor had been concerned about the captive; and it wasn’t the first time.

Although she knew she should not think too far into it, Rey found herself baffled and awed by this side of Ren. Her voice filled with understanding, “I’m alright. I moved before it could hit me. No harm done.”

Rey watched Ren’s back tense up, his body rigid. It seemed as if she had hit the issue squarely. As Ren remained silent, Rey decided to change the subject – clear the tension, “What is the next part you nee-“

“No,” Ren interrupted sharply, “We’re done. We will with this continue tomorrow.”

He started down the small hill, away from her, his shoulders never loosening, and hands held in fists at his sides. When it became clear he was not going to wait for her, Rey hastily scrambled out of the ship and followed him. The direction they were headed was back to the cave, and Rey’s hopes that Ren may have forgotten their first lesson steadily grew. As if he could hear her relief, Ren moved in to crush it.

“Your first lesson will be the most basic. You’ll do some meditation, and I will help you identify the Force,” he said, voice back to being low and calm, “How much do you know about it?”

Rey wracked her brains, thinking back to all the fanciful legends – myths, really – she had grown up listening to while shuffling around Niima Outpost, “It’s a power the Jedi have that lets them control people and…makes things… _float_?”

Ren gave out a light snort, turning his head to regard her with raised eyebrows. Rey typically took offense to being laughed at, but, seeing his gentle amusement, she had to concede his unspoken point: she really didn’t know anything about the Force. At least nothing of substance.

“Alright. Well, you are wrong about…a _few_ points,” he said jokingly, “but, the Force is much more than that. The Jedi are not the only ones able to utilize the Force. As you know, the Sith wield its power as well. _However_ ,” he emphasized, cutting Rey off before she could berate him, “the Force exists in _all_ things – in all people too. It is not only for those who can use it, and shape it, into a tool.”

Ren came to a stop at a nearby boulder, this one fairly large and flat on its top. He gestured to the rock with a sweep of a large gloved hand, indicating he wanted Rey to sit. Even though Rey did not fully trust Ren, this seemed like a harmless enough request, and so she levered herself up to the sit on the stony ledge. She was practically level with Ren at this height, and for once she did not have to tilt her chin to look him in the eye. However, she noticed uncomfortably, this did mean that Ren’s stare was much more direct; two brown eyes stood out in stark contrast to light skin, making them easy to read, and hard to escape.

Standing before her, hands clasped behind his back, Ren looked across at his unlikely pupil. After the shock he endured today because of her, he was glad for the peace a simple training exercise such as this afforded. At the moment, he was only interested in easing her into training, letting her discover her own way at first. He was _not_ going to repeat the same mistakes _his_ first master made.

“The Force is not a power you have,” he began, “it’s not about lifting objects, or controlling the minds of others. It’s the energy between _all_ things – a tension that binds the universe together. It is not inherently a weapon to be used for either Light or Dark. It is just an energy.”

Rey milled the words around in her head for a moment, appearing to understand, but then squinted, “Ok, but _what_ is it?”

This time, Ren let himself give out a light chuckle, entertained by the childlike response. “I had a similar reaction when I was given that explanation too,” he told her. Taking a deep breath and working his jaw, he considered another angle.

“Close your eyes,” he commanded gently.

Rey hesitated to comply - still distrustful of him - but, she eventually gave in, her eyes fluttering shut.

Ren continued, “Now, try and reach out.”

Rey, gathering her focus, did just that: she reached out her hand, open and ready to grasp the Force. A moment later, she heard a soft exasperated breath, and then a warm hand lightly push down on her arm.

“Not with your _hand_ ,” Ren said patiently, pacing to move behind her.

Rey’s eyes flew open at his touch, feeling the slight buzz of the aura again. She wanted to inspect her arm, which now felt warmer somehow, but Ren swiftly carried on.

“Close your eyes, and reach out with your _mind._ The aura you talked about - the energy we feel? Reach out to that; focus in on it.”

Closing her eyes once more, Rey did as instructed and attempted what she considered something highly abstract. Considerable mental effort was required, but, with a jolt of awed excitement, she was finally able to visualize her target. The aura was a glowing silver with a beautiful greyish hue, and its mesmerizing surface shimmered and undulated to an inexact tune. It was so beautiful, Rey could not help but let her face crack open in a crooked smile.

All the talk of energy and a “binding power”, that was once too theoretical for Rey to grasp, was blissfully clear to her now. In her mind’s eye, she could see it – feel it. The Force.

“What do you see?” Ren asked quietly by her ear.

His question registered in Rey’s mind as an onslaught of images ran through her head: the illuminating Takodana sun reflecting off stone, the empty blackness of space, the baking hotness of the Jakku sand, the bone-chilling cold blowing outside their cave in the morning, the bloody death of that terrifying beast, the precious desert flowers she used to collect around her makeshift home.

“I see… _everything._ Light, darkness, warmth, cold, death, violence, and…life,” she responded in a daze.

But then, she halted and her face fell in confusion.

A person appeared before her – it was Ren. The surroundings looked just the same as they did when she had seen him before in her dreams. His expression the same – focused on her, but unburdened with anxiety or concern.

“I see… _you_ …and…”

Suddenly, Ren’s image was not alone; instead, an image of another person began to form at his side. But Rey couldn’t tell who it was yet, the image shifting and twisting just like the aura had.

Outside Rey’s spiritual world, Ren whipped his head back towards her still form. He leaned in, scrutinizing her face, and searched for an explanation somewhere in her features. Her countenance was so unguarded, now that her eyes were closed. But, he found nothing; just the familiar features of a girl he had seen many times.

“And?” he asked, just as genuinely mesmerized by the unfolding mystery as Rey was.

“And…me?”

The unknown and formless shape materialized at last, revealing to be Rey herself. Steadily, with the same knowing calm that Ren’s image sported, her own self regarded her. It was slightly eerie, but Rey couldn’t help but feel comforted – the calm of the atmosphere contagious.

Ren, all the while, was not as calm. He had known for some time there was a connection between him and Rey – _the girl_ , he chastised himself – but he had not had enough first-hand confirmation to truly believe it in his heart. In the past, the Supreme Leader had alluded to a Force wielder who was connected to Ren through destiny, but Ren had always assumed it was Skywalker – his ultimate enemy. With this new discovery, however, Ren was becoming increasingly sure it was Rey who was the answer to the puzzle.

Rey’s eyes snapped open, the visions finally ceasing as her concentration wavered. In front of her, too close, was Ren – an almost exact replica of the image she had seen in her mind moments ago. This version of him looked slightly troubled, a crease in his brow and a dance of worried muscles playing out over his face.

They stayed frozen like this for some time before Ren straightened. He continued to hold her stare, frankly, a little shaken and transfixed.

“End of lesson one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alright, so I am probably going to do the rest of the story in 3rd POV. I’ve chosen bits and pieces of other fics to switch into 1st, but this one does feel better in 3rd. So, if you are interested, I am systematically working through the past chapters and reworking them into 3rd – for ease of reading. Also, some of what I wrote seemed too robotic for Rey, so I am fixing that.


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